A man and woman having an argument in front of their child and the child's grandparents

How to Treat Your Spouse Around Your Children

For the Sake of the Kids

Though you will soon cut marital ties with your spouse, your children still maintain a connection with both of you, forcing you to remain tied to them in some capacity. What you say and do in front of your children can have an impact on them both positively and negatively. When it is necessary to be around your spouse, whether through a school event, sports game, or another type of gathering, here are ways you can be cordial with them without compromising your boundaries.

Maintain a Positive Mindset

When you have advanced notice that you may have to see or talk to your spouse, it can help to go into that moment with a positive mindset. While there may still be some form of tension in the air between the two of you, you can go into the event with the goal of being friendly in conversation.

In addition, it can be very easy to badmouth your spouse when you do not have to see them. Avoiding this temptation is one of the keys to maintaining a positive mindset. If your spouse is being difficult, remain calm, take a deep breath, and try to avoid letting negative thoughts manifest themselves in spoken word.

Remember Your Children May Be Listening

Children pick up behaviors from their parents and form their beliefs and opinions based on what is said and done around them. How you act around your spouse in front of your children can have a big impact on how your children view that parent or even you.

What you say about your spouse when your children are around can make an impact on them, as well. Speaking negatively about your spouse while on the phone with someone can have a similar impact on your children if they hear what you say.

Keep Your Boundaries In Mind

A positive approach to your ex does not require you to abandon your boundaries; in fact, the opposite is true. Interacting with your soon-to-be ex-spouse after your divorce does not mean that they are either your enemy or your friend. Love and hate are said to be the opposite sides of the same coin. It may be better to treat your ex neutrally, as an acquaintance, and in that way, you maintain the boundaries you set up for yourself after your divorce while remaining cordial for the sake of your children. Keeping your spouse at arm’s length can help you maintain the boundaries you have set up to protect yourself and also deescalates negative emotions that are bad for you and your children. This may be the best thing for your own wellbeing while allowing you to maintain a cordial approach to your ex for the sake of your children.

It is important to keep your children’s best interests at the forefront of your mind when presented with these types of moments. It may be best for them to maintain a healthy relationship with your spouse, and being angry or negative around your ex could impact that relationship and potentially your children’s development.

Do You Need Assistance with Your Texas Conservatorship Arrangement?

One of the aspects of a divorce that can add tension to your relationship with your spouse is the conservatorship arrangement. This issue may be what makes maintaining cordial conversation with them rather difficult. If you are facing a conservatorship agreement that seems unfair, call the team at Holmes, Diggs & Sadler. We have helped numerous clients come to a better conservatorship arrangement, and we want to help you find a solution that works best for you.


To speak with a member of our Texas custody attorney team, call (713) 766-5355 or visit us online.

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